“Ester, your words sneak in past all my objections, cynicisms and suspicions to find my wisdom mind and heart, and seep in there...crack, shatter, I feel old stuff breaking off and falling away. Yours is the voice I hear now. And I think...maybe there's a chance for me to heal. Yes. Thank you, thank you. I am filled with gratitude for your voice, for every message, for every word...” - private client
Nothin' Broken Here
There are many of us in this world who have come from so-called "broken" families, have experienced bias and discrimination based on someone else's opinion or judgment, out of their own false sense of "brokenness." We have all experienced an erroneous sense of unworthiness, not-enoughness and inadequacy - a feeling that something was missing, damaged and broken about us.
How did that happen? How did we, as perfect expressions of God invest so much of our energy into thinking we were so badly damaged that we didn't even deserve the infinite inexhaustible love of the divine? How did we become so hypnotized by the illusion of separation that we fell asleep to a love that is so unconditional and ever available, it would bring us to our knees in humility, awe and gratitude if we just remembered who we really were?
We were brainwashed. Not out of some conspiracy thing. No, the Universe is only conspiring for us to wake up and accept our birthright of beauty and wholeness. When I say brainwashed, it's not in an attempt to blame anyone, or even blame ourselves, but it happened. We misperceived something at some point in our lives, like maybe our parents divorcing, and deciding it was our fault, or some snotty nosed kid (who was going through the same thing we were experiencing) decided to bully us and tell us we were crap, and we believed it. We compared our insides to someone else's outsides that might've been looking pretty good that day, and deemed ourselves unworthy.
The Do's & Don'ts of Dependence
How Should We Manage the Moment?
All of us experience disappointment in life. Sometimes it is profound disappointment and sorrow about issues or people that are dear to our hearts. Yet, encoded into each life experience is a choice. We can choose how we respond, how much meaning to assign to the experience, and select from multiple interpretions of how this relates to us on a personal level.
In our culture, many of us use these dissappointments to keep ourselves down or to hang on to the belief that things never work out for us. Maybe we’ve held on to our stories of abandonment, rejection, betrayal and abuse - seeking to blame others for our pain. When we do this, we unconsciously use these stories to stay small, constricted, and determined to never trust or open our hearts again.
While being true to your emotional state is totally acceptable and even encouraged in the beginning stages of loss, it is toxic, counter-productive and spiritually destructive to pull over and build our emotional house there.
This is particularly true for those with addictive/dependent tendencies.
To help clarify what I'm talking about, I've outlined some Do's and Dont's to offer strategies for your growth and unfoldment:
Inner Wisdom Listening
Do You Know How to Truly Listen?
I had a situation a few days ago with an acquaintance who was being very generous and going out of their way to support me. Or so it seemed on the surface—and it may indeed have been the truth. However, something in my gut kept telling me that this person, while indeed being generous and loving, had some ulterior motives, and I felt uncomfortable.
But even though my gut was sending warning signals, my head was telling me that I was being paranoid and simply couldn’t accept the good coming my way. Let’s call that feeling in my gut the inner child or my intuition, and let’s call my head my adult who attempts to shut out what she really feels in order to make nice so you won’t be mad at her.
I kept arguing with my gut, trying to pray and affirm away the persistent feelings of discomfort because, after all, this person was only trying to be helpful—and wasn’t I constantly affirming my prosperity and my good? Well, here it was, so what was I whining about? And wasn’t I supposed to be “spiritual” and take the high road even though I was uncomfortable? Something must be wrong with my consciousness if I can’t rise above that, right?
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